guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
