At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
