I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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