why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
