don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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