Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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