If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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