He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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