I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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