i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
