I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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