She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
