I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We need a shit load of segways right now
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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