Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
