btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
