Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
