He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
