You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
