I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
