She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
