remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
