there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
