Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
