The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Shame - the story of my life.
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