never play flip cup with pint glasses
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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