For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
