You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
