I'm sorry my penis didn't work
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i will never coherently bang her
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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