I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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