people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Everclear isn't food dammit
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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