I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
