I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize