its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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