My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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