You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Jerry, you need to find god
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
