I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Well I just put wine in my tea
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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