Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
