i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
i think my cat just said my name.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
