we have pet lesbian snakes
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
