Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
