What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
