I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize