I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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