You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize