No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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