I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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