I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
