He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
