i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
