I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
