everyone is single if you try hard enough
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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