I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Vodka?
Forever.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
