When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
