at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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