Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
