Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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