Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
