got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
