hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The adults are the big ones right?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
