You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
