IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
