Having a random hookup so left but love u
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
